Defeating the Darkness
by Destineehope10
Summary: Fighting against stigoi was the most danger Rose thought she would ever be in, but what happens when spirits dark inner force threatens to destroy not only her sanity, but the life she has made for herself? Second instalment for my other fanfic, What If.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, here it is, this is the story following What If. I have tried to make this story follow a much different story line, so here it is. **

'I can't actually believe that she slept through the whole flight back, and the car journey, what an angel.' I gushed, looking down at my now three week old daughter.

She was perfect; I know all mothers say that about their kids, but my baby, she outshone all other infants. The day Dimitri and I visited the children's home in Russia, our little beauty was brought in, only a few days old and already abandoned by her junky mother, and as soon as the two of us set eyes on the little treasure, we knew she was ours.

She was tiny. The workers at the children's home said that she was probably slightly malnourished most of the time that her birth mother was pregnant with her and obviously due to the lack of food; she hadn't grown to her proper weight. I was soon going to fix that though, I was going to make her into one of those cute, chubby babies that everyone ooh's and aww's at.

Her beautiful head was covered in a smattering of fine brown hairs, similar to the colour of my own hair and I am more than happy to say she has deep chocolate brown eyes, much the same as Dimitri's. That is probably why we fell for her, because she had few similarities to us, so that although she wasn't biologically our child, there were still some similarities between us.

Dimitri grabbed the luggage out of the boot of the car, while I disconnected our new daughter from her car seat. We had been in Russia for a little under three weeks. Once we had found our baby girl, we waited a week before we could take her home with us. All our forms and finalisation for adoption had gone through a few months before hand, before we took off to Russia in search of our soon-to-be child. The adoption filing and finalising is a lot quicker for us than it is in the human world for some reason. I think it is because not many people in our world adopt, and so the people who do want to are seen straight away. Luckily Dimitri and I passed with flying colours on the adoption approval and once that was out the way, things seemed to move fast and smoothly.

'It's a shame we can't say her mother slept the whole time though isn't it?' Dimitri asked, faking annoyance.

I had kept him up the whole time we were on the flight, gushing over all the cute things our baby did. He claimed to find it annoying, but I knew otherwise. I knew he was just as excited as I was and didn't mind my enthusiasm, at the end of the day, it made him see that I wasn't regretting one single part of taking home the little girl I had so harshly fallen in love with.

'Daddy's just grouchy because he didn't get any sleep.' I whispered to my baby girl, kissing her delicately on her cheek.

Dimitri sighed in contentment and I looked up at him to see a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. 'You know, I never get tired of hearing that?'

'Hearing what? That you're grouchy?' I teased, knowing full well what he was on about.

'No silly girl. I never get tired of hearing the fact that I am a father.' He smiled, his eyes shining with happiness and excitement.

'Did you hear that baby girl? Daddy likes being your daddy.' I cooed, cradling her gently to my chest.

'Rose, you know we're going to have to stop calling her that and come up with a name soon, otherwise she'll never answer to anything else.' He chucked, kissing me softly on my forehead before opening the door to our house at the academy.

Dimitri and I now stayed in the guardian building, just like Dimitri did when he was my mentor, and since the school had two spare rooms next to each other, they agreed to knock out the wall separating them and make our ground floor room into a small two bedroom apartment. It wasn't as big as our last apartment, and things were a bit cramped, but it was our own private place, where we could be ourselves and raise our daughter until she was old enough to live in the student dorms the academy provided for their pupils.

They did the same for Christian and Lissa, seeing as they had two children, even though Rosie now attended the academy, having just turned six, a days before the new semester started, but they were situated in the teaching blocks instead.

'I know she needs a name, but nothing seems to fit.' I sighed, watching Dimitri set her pram up in the living room so that I could lay her down instead of putting her in her own room where we wouldn't be able to see her. We were both still at the stage where we couldn't bare not to look at her, and we wanted to enjoy every second of it.

Coming up with a name had been a torturous thing. Most couples found that the most exciting part after the baby is born, or even before hand, but for us, it had been nothing but stressful. No name seemed to suit her. We had agreed that since her last name was Russian, that she would have an American name. I had been all for naming her something Russian, but Dimitri didn't want it, so I just went along with his wishes.

We had been through so many names it was crazy, Dimitri liked the name Lucy, but I just didn't think it suited her at all. For starters, she was our daughter, and with parents like us, she didn't have much chance of being a girly girl, especially if she followed in my footsteps and became one of few female guardians and Lucy was most definitely a more girly girl name.

I wanted to go for something unique, or uncommon at least, that we could shorten down into a cute and sane nickname if we wanted to, but the only name I really liked at the moment was Blair.

'We're not naming her Blair, Rose; she looks nothing like a Blair.' Dimitri said, once I had voiced my idea. It looked like we were never going to agree on anything.

'Yeah, but think about how good it sounds, 'Guardian Blair Belikov'' I announced proudly. He had to admit that it did have a certain ring to it.

Dimitri shook his head. 'No. And anyway, what if she doesn't want to be a guardian? I want her to have the Liberty to choose her future, not we paint it out for her.'

I raised my eyebrows at him in questioning; I still hadn't mastered the craft of raising only one. 'You know I wouldn't make her do or be anything she didn't want to be-' then something he had said clicked. 'Wait, that's it.' I beamed; I think I had finally found a name.

'What?' He asked, leaning over the pram where we had placed our daughter, and scooping her up in his arms. She had now awaken and I had an idea that she was going to be hungry, so I made the way to our box room sized kitchen and placed one of bottles in the microwave.

'Liberty?' I asked, leaning one of my hips against the counter and crossing my arms over my chest.

'What about it?' He asked, shifting the baby so that she was leaning against his shoulder.

'No, what do you think of it as a name?' I inquired, biting my lip. 'We don't have to call her Liberty all the time anyway; we could call her Libby for short. How cute would that be? 'Liberty Belikov. Libby Belikov.'

'Liberty Rose Belikov.' Dimitri chimed, pulling our daughter back so he could have a look at her.

'Libby? Is that going to be your name sweetheart?' He whispered, pressing a kiss to her tiny forehead. She gurgled in agreement earning a smile from her proud father.

'I think I like it.' He laughed.

'Yeah, but there is no way her middle name is going to be Rose.' I replied, sticking my chin out stubbornly.

He chuckled softly, as I fetched the bottle of formula out of the microwave and tested it on my wrist. Since getting the baby I had become quite a pro at the getting the temperature perfect without having to wait for it to cool down before feeding her.

He walked over to me and took the formula from me. 'You got to pick the first name, I'm picking the second. And I think she should be named after her mother, and since Liberty Rosemarie Belikov doesn't sound as nice, we're calling her Liberty Rose Belikov.' He smirked, placing the tip of the bottle in our hungry Childs mouth.

'If you're set on her middle name being something to do with me, why not take the Marie out instead of the Rose, and then there is meaning, but difference.' I asked, much preferring the idea of her middle name being Marie instead of Rose.

Dimitri mulled this over. I knew I had got him. 'Libby Marie Belikov.' He muttered affectionately. 'I like it.'

I watched as Libby gazed up adoringly at Dimitri, I didn't know if she was looking at him like that because he was the one giving her food, or because she had already got a true unbreakable bond with him. I was guessing the second reason was more accurate. It was obvious she was going to be very much Dimitri's little angel.

'You know she's gonna be a complete Daddy's girl when she's older right?' I joked, leaning my head on Dimitri's shoulder and stroking our daughter's fine hair lovingly.

'She'll love you too.' He whispered, kissing my temple softly.

'Oh, I don't doubt that.' I chuckled. 'But when Momma doesn't let her have her own way, Daddy will be the first person she goes running too with a tear stained face.'

Dimitri smirked at me, accidentally taking the bottle out of Libby's mouth, which caused a shrill cry to escape her perfectly shaped pink lips. He looked down alarmed and quickly returned the food back to her.

I tutted and walked off towards the bedroom to start unpacking. 'She's already got you wrapped around her little finger.'

'Well, that makes two of you then.' He replied, his eyes following my movement.

'And don't I know it.'

**Well, what did you think? Please review and let me know. x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the reviews and story alerts etc. It's great that you like the new part of the story. Hope you like this chapter, sorry it has taken me so long to post it. Please review and let me know what you guys think. X**

Libby was a complete angel. Although she was in a new surrounding, she slept through the whole night, minus one little cry in the night, and that was only because she was hungry. Thankfully Dimitri, being the amazing man that he undoubtedly is, got up and dealt with her. He already doted on her hand and foot and getting up in the night to be with her was no exception. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, but I love her more when I can play with her in the day, instead of having to be awoken from my much needed sleep.

Lissa had left us alone yesterday, she knew we needed time to settle in and get used to having our daughter back with us, in our own home, so she stayed out the picture, and through the bond, I could tell that that time in which she was not seeing the new member to our family, was like torture to her. She had been as excited as us about getting Libby and for her to contain her eagerness to see the baby was huge and we knew it would have taken a lot for her to do.

_We're on our way over. _She sent through the bond, the excitement pouring through her and into me.

Dimitri, Libby and I were seated comfortably at the breakfast table, enjoying our first family breakfast in our own home. Dimitri was watching me with loving eyes as I fed our daughter her morning formula. She guzzled it down like she had never been fed before which made me worry that we were underfeeding her.

'Do you think we're not feeding her enough?' I held up the empty bottle to show him. 'She downed that as fast as an alcoholic would a bottle of scotch.'

Dimitri chuckled and took the bottle from me, placing it on the kitchen counter ready for it to be washed. 'Rose, believe me, if she wasn't getting enough food, she would be letting us know about it.'

I bit my lip anxiously, knowing that what Dimitri was telling me was true, but still worrying that maybe I was doing something wrong. 'Maybe we should increase the amount we give her slightly; I don't want her to starve or anything.'

'Relax.' He said, coming over to me and taking Libby out of my arms. He held her in front of me. 'Look, she's already putting on weight, and how long have we had her. She is perfectly fine. You don't want our daughter to grow up being the fat kid do you?' He chuckled, taking my serious worry as a joke.

Libby gurgled in unison with her father, looking every bit the little cutie she was, wearing a yellow baby grow and purple bib. They were both already siding against me, what luck do I have when she is older?

'If you say so.' I muttered, giving them both a kiss on the cheek. 'I'll clean up the dishes, you go get her dressed properly, Lissa is on her way and I don't want her first encounter with Libby to be when Libby isn't wearing her cutest baby outfit.'

'Any outfit in particular?' He asked mockingly. When I had been buying clothes for Libby he had always teased me saying she was a baby, not a doll, she didn't need quality fashion or anything. I knew she didn't, and I didn't buy her anything really fashionable, we would have plenty of time for that when she was older, but I did however want her to have clothing that matched and emphasized how adorable she really is.

'I trust your judgment, just stay away from the PJ's.'

He chuckled and wondered out of the room, leaving me with all chores to do. Last night we had set up the travel crib in our room and let Libby sleep in there with us. I didn't feel comfortable having her alone in her own room on her first night. I had tried putting her in there at first, but ended up tossing and turning, annoying Dimitri so much that he went and got her and set her in her travel crib.

After I had rinsed all the plates and loaded everything up in the dishwasher, I head a knock at the door and knew straight away who it had to be.

'Come on in, doors open.' I called, beckoning Lissa and Christian in.

Before I even got a hello, Lissa darted in the room surveying the area. 'Where is she?' She asked eagerly, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

'She's in her room with Dimitri, he's getting her dressed.' I smiled, loving the fact that I could now match Lissa and we could talk together about the goings on in our own little families. 'She's already a little daddy's girl.'

'Don't worry; I think all babies do that. When Rosie was a baby, she went through a stage of only wanting Christian; she wouldn't sleep unless she was with him. I ended up sleeping in the spare room through fear of rolling over her when she was asleep in our bed.' Lissa chuckled, relaying useful motherly advice to me.

'So I've probably got that to come have I?' I laughed, hoping that maybe Libby wouldn't be too excessive if that happened.

'Have you named her yet?' Christian asked, throwing himself down on the sofa and shoving his feet up on the coffee table, like he was at home instead of round someone else's house.

'Yes.'

'And...' Lissa probed.

'I'll tell you her name when Dimitri brings her out.'

And just as I said it, Dimitri wondered out of the bedroom, carrying a very pink looking baby. 'Pink, you put her in pink?' I asked levelly, eyeing up the girly colouring in distaste.

'You said I could dress her in anything I wanted, and I thought she could have a pink day. Anyway I thought it would appease Lissa if I dressed Libby in something she bought for her.' He defended.

'Libby, you called her Libby?' Lissa squeaked, shooting over to Dimitri to have a better look at the newest member to our family.

Dimitri slowly handed her over to Lissa with a proud smirk on his face. 'Lissa, Christian, I would like you to meet our daughter. This is Liberty Marie Belikov. Libby for short.'

'Libby Belikov.' Lissa cooed, gently rocking her from side to side. 'It's nice to meet you Libby. I'm your Aunt Lissa and that over there.' She turned Libby so she could see Christian. 'He's your uncle Christian.' Lissa looked up at me, her eyes huge with admiration. 'Rose, she is beautiful.' She chuckled and looked back down at the baby. 'She even looks like you two.'

Everyone in the room looked at her questioningly, and she looked up and smirked at all of us. 'I know it isn't possible, but she does in a way.'

Christian cracked his knuckles and sighed. 'Well I don't know about you, but I think the biggest shocker here is Rose. I never thought I'd see the day when Rose Hathaway would become a mother.'

I flipped him off but smiled internally at him referring to me as a mother. I too, never thought I would see the day when I would become a mother. I never thought kids would be on my cards, but I never thought marriage to Dimitri would be either. 'Christian, how long have I been married?' I asked, replaying what he had just said in my head.

'I don't know, shouldn't you know the answer to that.' I glared at him. 'A little over a year?' He guessed pretty accurately.

'Yeah, so why do you still refer to me as Rose Hathaway.' I smirked at Dimitri, still getting a thrill at saying my now name. 'I'm a Belikov now.'

'Yeah, I know, but you'll always be a Hathaway to me, Rose.'

I shook my head at his random statement, and returned my attention back to Lissa and my little girl. She was a natural with kids, much more of a natural than I was. When she had Rosie, she just seemed to click. She knew what had to be done and she didn't need to think about it. There were no worries along the way or anything like that, but with me and Libby, I was contently worrying that I was doing things wrong, or that I was hurting her, or not doing enough for her.

After a while longer Lissa went to sit with Christian and passed Libby over to him. Dimitri and I resumed seats at the breakfast table, which was situated in our living room.

Christian, not quite as sentimental as Lissa, wasn't as taken by Libby, but you could tell he had a soft spot for her like any good uncle would have.

'While we have got you both here, Rose and I have something we would like to discuss with the two of you.' Dimitri said, taking my hand and squeezing it under the table.

Both Christian and Lissa looked up and Lissa shot a look at me nervously. Immediately thoughts of me resigning from her guardianship were flashing through her mind and I shook my head at her reassuringly.

'Rose and I would like to ask you both something. Obviously Libby needs godparents, and we were wondering if you two would do the honours?' Dimitri asked, even though we both knew full well what the answer would be.

Lissa was trying to fight back a prominent smile, while Christian made it obvious that he was touched by our request. Since what had happened previously, with him being made strigoi and everything, people had avoided him even more than before, but with us asking this. It showed him that the people who loved him trusted him, and that was all that mattered to him.

'We would love to be Libby's godparents.' Christian smiled, lifting Libby higher and placing a soft kiss on her button nose. 'Do you hear that Libby? We're your godparents. That means when your mommy over there pisses you off, you come to us and we secretly bitch about her.' He chuckled.

'Language around the baby.' Lissa hissed, slapping him on the back of his head. 'You can't swear around Rosie and Eric and you can't swear around Libby either. You're such a bad influence.'

'Yeah Christian, if I can't swear around her.' I eyed Dimitri carefully, who was the one to make that rule. 'Then you definitely can't.' I remember the conversation Dimitri and I had had when I had accidentally said damn in front of her. He had had a few words to say about that. All I had said was _damn, _I could have said a hell of a lot worse, but he still laid into me. I argued that she didn't understand any of those words yet, and Dimitri's argument was that she had a brain like a sponge and would pick anything up. Obviously he won the argument and I was no longer to swear in my own home.

'Glad to see you have her on some sort of a leash Belikov.' Christian smirked, winking slightly at Dimitri.

I did not appreciated being metaphorically described as a dog and quietly growled in warning, although that just added fuel to the fire and Christian chuckled softly.

'If I were you Christian, I wouldn't ever put my daughter down, because when you do, you're going to seriously regret it.'

Christian's smirk died down and he averted his eyes form my glare. As soon as he put the baby down I was going to make him regret making that statement, or at least I'll make him think I am, I'm in too good of a mood to actually hurt him.

'You two, stop it, we have an infant present.' Lissa warned, darting her eyes down to Libby.

'Yeah,' Christian sighed, a look of disgust pulling down the corners of his mouth. 'An infant who needs changing.' He held Libby out towards Dimitri and me. 'Which one of you two are going to do the honours?'

'Rose.' Dimitri stated, releasing the hand of mine that he commandeered hold of earlier.

'Uh-uh. I did it last time, she's all yours now.'

'No, if I remember rightly, I changed her last time, this time is all yours.'

I back tracked, throwing my mind back a while ago and realised unfortunately that it was in fact Dimitri who had changed her last time. Oh well, you couldn't blame a girl for trying could you.

'Okay.' I sighed getting up. 'Give her here.'

I quickly threw Libby on the changing table and cleaned her up and changed her diaper. It was probably my least favourite job to do for her. I loved spending time with her, but changing her used diapers was not a pleasant thing to do, especially with the amount of food she eats... and I was thinking of increasing her diet? What was I thinking?

Once I returned to the other room, after deciding to leave Libby in her room for a mid-morning nap, all three people were engrossed in a conversation I had no idea the topic of. Dimitri, I could tell by the way he was sitting felt very passionate about the whole idea, and was nodding eagerly at Christian.

'What are you chatting about?' I asked, wrapping my arms around Dimitri's shoulders and leaning my full body into him.

'Christian wants us to join his defence classes.' Dimitri said excitedly, a light shining in his eyes so brightly, looking at him was like making direct eye contact with the sun.

'Not trying to burst your bubble Comrade, but I don't think we need lessons from moroi on how to fight do you?' I teased.

'He wants us to help instruct. He wants us to spar in front of them, like in our old training sessions.'

The thought of re-enacting the old days of Dimitri being my mentor, was more than an appealing thought, and I had no queries or qualms to agree.

'We haven't sparred in almost seven years.' I mused, placing my chin on his shoulder. 'I'd kick your ass now.'

'I don't doubt it.' He chuckled, then moving so fast that I wasn't even aware it was happening, he managed to somehow manoeuvre me so that I was now positioned on his lap, leaning into his shoulder.

'So are you two in?' Christian asked animatedly, practically bouncing on the sofa, unable to contain his excitement at the progression of his defence classes.

I smiled up at Dimitri who was nodding minutely at me. 'Yes.' He said. 'We're in.'

This year was going to be a very eventful year, I could already see it coming, and just thinking about fighting with Dimitri again, sent butterflies soaring through my stomach. It had been what felt like centuries since we had tested each other, and I couldn't wait to show him how much more improved I was now that I was older, wiser and much more experienced.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews, I can't believe all the positive feedback I had received towards the first two chapters. I'm glad everyone likes the story so far. **

**Well, summer is officially over and I am back at college *sigh* so things are pretty hectic with all the work I am supposed to be doing. I hadn't really thought of when I could update because I already have so much work to do, but I am going to make sure I update every weekend; I will make sure I publish at least one chapter a week. **

**So with that out of the way, I hope you enjoy the next chapter.**

I watched as all the students, new and old poured into the academy's campus. Seeing the excited faces at the prospect of being reunited with their friends reminded me about my first days back when I used to attend. Obviously I spent my summers with Lissa and her family so it wasn't too bad, if there had been a separation between us I would have found the holidays more unbearable, but because I was just away from my normal friends who I liked and respected but didn't mean as much to me, I didn't dread the holidays as much.

Unfortunately I had been scheduled to have this shift, although the prospect of being away from each other was annoying, we had agreed that it wouldn't kill us if one of us took day shifts and the other took night, Libby needed us more than we needed each other and at the moment we were reluctant to hand her over to Lissa's nanny to take care of. Not saying that Lissa and Christian weren't, but Dimitri and I wanted to be a bit more hands on with our daughter, and didn't want her to go without both parents for a long period of time.

'Excuse me? Are you Rose Hathaway?' A young girl, roughly of the age of fifteen asked me. She had dark hair, long and curly, falling down to her waist and vibrant grey eyes. She was clearly a Dhampir, but there was something familiar in her features, I just couldn't place why I recognized them.

'I was.' I smiled, extending my hand to her. 'But now I'm Rose Belikov and you are?'

She beamed at me and took my hand in a firm grasp that would even do me proud. She had the simple strength of a promising guardian. 'I'm Lisa Kelley, you're like my hero.' Well, it wasn't everyday that someone called you their hero, so that was kind of flattering. 'You're a legend here, the best graduate in years, everyone tried to beat your records. You are like the one and only idol for all female guardians.'

I chuckled. Sounds about right. 'I wouldn't say that, I wasn't exactly what you would call cooperative with my teachers, but I did kick ass at all my tests and trials.'

'You sure did.'

'Look Libby, who's that? Is that Mama?' I heard a husky Russian accented voice say from behind me. I turned and smiled at my approaching husband and daughter. Dimitri hadn't bothered with bringing Libby out in her pushchair; he just carried her around with him. I think he found comfort in holding her.

'What are you two doing here?' I asked, standing up on my tiptoes to give Dimitri a soft kiss on the lips and Libby a gentle peck on the nose.

'We got bored sat at home waiting for you to come back, so we thought we'd get some fresh air and come and see you in the process.'

I swapped my attention back to Lisa and indicated with my hands. 'Lisa, I'd like to meet my husband, Guardian Dimitri Belikov and this is my daughter Libby.'

Her mouth dropped so low that I was sure if she started to walk she would kick it with her feet. 'You mean you two actually... got married?' She sounded incredulous. I know a lot of people in our world frown upon marriage between two dhampir's, and it is so rare you hardly ever come across it, but I don't know why people still reacted in the same way when they met us in person, I mean, we hadn't exactly kept quiet about the whole marriage.

'Yes, we got married. Didn't you realise that when I told you my name?'

'It just didn't click.' She admitted. 'Man, I'd kill to be Libby; having you two as parents would be awesome. With your skills combined she'd not only be deadly but indestructible.'

I chuckled and nudged Dimitri. 'Hear that Belikov, Libby is going to be indestructible.'

Dimitri rolled his eyes and focussed his attention on the little bundle in his arms whom was now playing with the zip on his jacket.

'Is it true that Guardian Belikov was your mentor when you were here?' Lisa asked eagerly, just gagging for saucy details.

'Yes.'

'And is it true you two had a thing going on before he left?' Wow, she really had been doing her homework on us.

'Yes, that is correct.' Dimitri stated, just as amused by her shocked expression as I had been.

'And now you two are married with a kid. That is so weird, you never hear that happening to guardians and then them staying guardians, they always run away.' She mused.

'Why would we run away? Unlike the others, we don't feel like we have done anything wrong, we haven't done anything wrong, why should we be ashamed of falling in love?' Dimitri said, saying exactly the same thing as he had said to me when I had suggested that maybe we should leave the guardian world for a while after we got married, just to let all the shock and hostility towards us go down a bit.

'You shouldn't.' She confirmed. 'I gotta go meet my friends, but it was really nice meeting the three of you, I hope I have you in some of my lessons, it would be so cool.' She called before scuttling off to rejoin her friends and no doubt fill them in on what had just happened.

'Well I suppose I should get this little one home, I think someone is due a nap.' Dimitri said, kissing Libby on the cheek, then me on the mouth. 'See you later. Don't be too long, I miss you.'

'Miss you too Comrade, I'm just going to check on Lissa and then my shift should have ended.' I replied, waving him away as I made my way to the classroom where Lissa was talking with a group of new students.

I could feel through the bond that she was discussing the use of spirit, most people had heard of the rare element, but it was another thing to see it. Everyone was fascinated by it, even though it had made its reappearance maybe a little over ten years ago, well it had made its appearance to Lissa and I anyway. It had always been there, its just no one thought it was because spirit can figuratively disguise itself.

I wondered into the classroom she was situated in and watch Liss interact with all the students who were buzzing with questions for her. In front of her she had a plant pot with tiny shoots. She had used this trick a lot, especially when she had tried to teach Adrian how to heal.

'But how do you do it?' One kid asked.

'What does it look like?' Another one chorused.

'Can you heal everything?' Was another question.

Lissa sighed and rubbed her temples. 'I know that this is an exciting concept, but if everyone would remain quiet for a minute, I will show you what I do, and then I will answer any questions you want answered.'

Everyone quietened down and sat in complete awe as she gently touched one of the miniscule deadened stalks. A burst of energy shot through her and all I could feel was bright, pure light. It was like this whenever she used spirit, it was almost a purifying effect, and I expected it, but I never got over how warm and good it felt and made itself appear to be.

Slowly the plant not only changed back from a dingy brown to a vibrant green, but it started to grow and eventually blossomed into a white rose.

There was a series of gasps and sharp intakes of breath that shot around the room, all unbelieving towards what they had just seen. That was the reaction she got from a lot of people. It was amusing watching the kids try and take in what they had just witnessed. But something clouded that enjoyment for me. In the back of my mind, or should I say Lissa's mind, there was a niggling, a dark powerful niggling that made both her and I feel unsteady. I looked over at her, monitoring her face and I could see in her eyes the clouding over. The look she used to get when she was inexperienced in the element, and I knew that look meant only one thing.

She was still stood in front of the class, but I could feel the depression seeping into her like bacteria into a cut and she was powerless against it. A while ago I had learnt that I was able to suck away the side effects and harbour them in my own body, it made me mad and crazy, but anything was better than her going through something so terrible on a constant day to day basis.

'Liss? Are you okay?' I asked, slowly walking towards the front of the room, so not to startle her.

She tilted her head up slowly to look at me and when her eyes met mine I knew that what I suspected was true. Her eyes held nothing, they were just emotionless orbs that she saw through, there was no emotion, no spark, and no life and at that second I knew what had to be done.

Although I probably didn't think it through as well as I should have, I did what I did best, I didn't think I just did. With that one decision made I took all the scary dark feeling from her and ushered them into my own body, welcoming the release I felt through the bond that I had now caused her.

Immediately she knew what had happened and she eyed me worriedly. I didn't know quite how to react, but I could feel this all consuming weight pressing down on my mind and my heart and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. I looked down at my hands to see them trembling uncontrollably; it was like they had a mind of their own.

Without giving anything a second thought, I rushed home, faster than I had ever gone before. I needed to get away from the spirit; I needed to retreat back to my own boring frame of mind. Shooting through the front door, I saw Dimitri stretched out on the sofa with a western novel gripped tightly in his hold.

'Roza?' He turned to face me and knew immediately that something was wrong, and although I cant be sure, I thought he recognised something.

I couldn't deal with him right now; I needed to get away, so I darted for the bathroom. On my way there I noticed the shining points of our kitchen knife set and the need to use them; to inflict pain on myself was so pronounce that it scared me more than anything has ever scared me before. Ignoring the sickening pull I shot into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind me. I filled the wash basin with freezing cold water and doused my face in it, needing something to bring me out of this sadistic frame of mind.

The sound of Dimitri calling to me and knocking on the door was echoing in the back of my mind, but all I could focus on was the shaking of my hands. Something was wrong, this was worse than the last time it happened. This wasn't right.

After I had calmed down, I was left to ponder. What had just happened to me?

**Hope you like the chapter, the next update should be up either Saturday or Sunday at the latest. Please review and tell me what you think. xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**First of all, I just want to say, I am so sorry it has been so long since I last updated. Computer problems plus college work means not a lot of writing on my part. Somehow the first time I wrote this chapter, my computer managed to delete it, so I've had to rewrite. Hope you like the chapter and thanks for the previous reviews on other chapters. X **

The insistent banging on the door would have been extremely annoying if I wasn't scared out of my life due to the experience I had just undergone. My hands were still shaking even though I knew whatever had just happened to me had subsided.

'Rose, come on, open up.' Dimitri commanded, his forceful pounds shaking the door almost off its hinges.

'I'll be out in a minute.' I called as lightly as I could manage with the disturbing turbulent thoughts whirling through my head.

I had actually anticipated Dimitri leaving me alone, uselessly wishing that he would ignore the false tremor in my voice and think of it as nothing more than me feeling ill, or a bit off. But Dimitri being Dimitri, and knowing me better than I knew myself, I should have guessed better. He knew there was something wrong with me, he knew something wasn't right, and nothing would budge him from the other side of the door.

He hit the door harder, shaking the door handle, making it sound a vile metal screech at the displeasure of being disturbed. 'Roza, if you don't come out here now or let me in, I will force this door open.' He warned, the seriousness in his voice leaving no doubt in my mind that he in fact meant every word he spoke.

This was all I needed, Dimitri on my case when I hadn't even got my own head around what had just happened. 'I said I will be out in a minute.' I snapped, loosing patience not only with him, but with the whole problem I had at hand. A louder bang reverberated from the door and around the room. I glared at the door, gritting my teeth. 'If you wake Libby up, I will seriously kill you.'

Immediately Dimitri quietened, he might want to get to me urgently, but he didn't want Libby disturbed in the process if it wasn't a life or death matter – yet anyway. 'I'll be in the living room when you're ready to come out.' He whispered, although his voice was low, he knew I could hear him.

Finally, silence. The noiseless atmosphere immediately engulfed me in its questioning muteness. I knew that in this alone time that Dimitri had finally given me, I should contemplate what had just gone on, but for some reason, I just couldn't face the prospect of that. What I didn't know or understand couldn't hurt me, right? Isn't it better to live in blissful ignorance than be inundated with information I have no use for, or that could uselessly freak me out?

Taking a deep breath, I unbolted the door and slipped out, making as little noise as possible, revelling in the momentary silence that I knew was about to expire any second.

I wondered into the kitchen, very aware of Dimitri on the couch, eyeing me cautiously, like I was a time bomb, ready to explode and leave nothing but devastation and destruction in its wake. Still blanking his hot, insistent gaze, I snatched a glass from one of the cupboards and filled it with water, taking a long satisfying gulp before heading to the living room, to be greeted by the inevitable questions already trying to break free of Dimitri's compressed curiosity.

I didn't meet his stare as I sat down on the chair opposite him, next to the window overlooking the academy's campus. I tried to loose myself in my observation of the hustle and bustle of the students making their way from A to B and greeting any familiar faces on their travels. There was something therapeutic about people watching. Allowing yourself to step outside of your own life and watch others carry on with their normal escapades, it sort of provided me with a release I desperately needed right now.

'Are you going to talk to me, or am I going to have to go talk to Lissa?' Dimitri asked in a curt tone, knowing that if I intended to keep my problem from him, that Lissa would know about it and most likely for my own good, divulge the information to him.

Slowly, I brought my head around to face him. His eyes were fiercely studying my every expression, pressing me for the answers he so desperately wanted. The answers that I knew I couldn't give him. If I told him what was happening to me, would he leave me? Again? Would he take our daughter with him? Branding me an unfit parent and more of a liability than anything else? He had left me once not long after I had told him of my impossible sightings of Mason, why would he stay this time?

I knew I was being irrational, and Dimitri would never do something like that to me again, it wasn't his fault last time. But what if when he had abandoned me he had considered it a lucky escape?

My thoughts were so jumbled they were almost unrecognisable and totally unreadable. I must be seriously messed up if I can't understand what is going on in my own head. I rubbed my eyes viciously, trying to wipe away the scrambled thoughts shooting through my head. One thing I knew for sure was that I wasn't going to infect my family with my problems; I would protect them for as long as I could. I couldn't risk loosing them, not when I had finally got everything that I wanted and my life was finally where I wanted it to be.

'You're not going to bother Lissa over nothing.' I replied, shaking my head at him. 'Just because we have the bond doesn't mean she knows what is going on with me. It only works one way remember?'

He shot me an exasperated look, I could see the tension in his deep chocolate eyes, and the fuming anger he felt bubbling away before his calm facade. 'Don't treat me like I'm stupid Roza.' He warned, leaning forward on his chair and balancing his elbows on his knees. Closing the distance in an intimidating manor. 'What happened back there? And don't go on to tell me how it's nothing.'

'It _was_ nothing.' I defended, immediately going on the defensive, painfully aware that soon Dimitri would turn this into an interrogation instead of a friendly talk between man and wife. 'You're overreacting as usual. Cant I come home and go to the bathroom anymore without you thinking there is something going on.'

'I saw your face.' He stated, raising an eyebrow, goading me to retort back.

'Yes, and I saw yours too, when you look at someone that is how it generally tends to work.' I muttered sarcastically.

'Don't give me that crap Rose. I'm used to your big mouthed comments, don't try and make this into me being overbearing and paranoid.' He soothed his temples with his fingertips, like the conversation was providing him with an aggressive headache. 'I saw your face, the expression.' He took a deep breath and unsteadily met my eyes. 'I've only ever seen that look on you once before. It's Lissa and spirit again isn't it?'

'No.' I laughed dryly, denying the fact that he had hit the nail right on the head with his first guess. 'I would tell you if that ever happened to me.' I lied, loathing myself for breaking my promise to always be truthful with Dimitri. 'I just felt a bit off.'

'Off?' He asked, trying to hide the wanting relief he desperately needed to feel. It was like I was in his head though, seeing the true way his mind worked. He was willing this to be true, begging for this to be the reason he had spotted the difference in me, but his better judgment was telling him that I was feeding him a load of bullshit, and he wasn't going to fall for my talented lies easily, even if he wanted to.

'Yeah, you know, I was feeling dizzy, a bit sick. Don't worry; I skipped a meal, that's all.' I spurted the lies to him one after another, and then approached him, pushing him back by the shoulders so that I could curl up in his lap. When he realised I was settled, he wrapped his muscled arms around me, pinning me so tightly to him that if I wanted to move, I would be unable to. Close proximity sometimes worked in distracting Dimitri, but something told me, that this wasn't going to be one of those times.

'Please don't lie to me Rose. We need to speak about these things... we're suppose to talk.' He pleaded.

'I'm not lying.' I mumbled into the crook of his neck, making goosebumps appear where my breath had tickled his skin.

'And why don't I believe that?' He whispered the tender loving nature he had towards me, displayed clearly in his worried tone.

I sighed and scrambled off of his lap. I knew I was lying, but surely he should trust me. Isn't that what a marriage is about? Trust? And although, yes I was being untruthful, surely he shouldn't start mistrusting me until he actually found out that I was lying.

'Roza, where are you going now?' He called as I retreated from the room, leaving him alone in the living room.

I ignored his call and wondered into Libby's room. It was so quiet and peaceful in there, the only noise being her steady, light breathing. I peered over the edge of her cot, taking in her relaxed sleeping form, stretched out as much as her little body would allow.

It was hard to remember a time when I was as innocent and naive. The joys of being a baby, not having to worry about anything apart from getting your next feed. Placing a gentle kiss on Libby's forehead, I lightly traced my finger over her delicate cheek, then left the room, heading for my own.

After everything today, all I wanted was to curl up in a ball in my own comfy bed and sleep for a decade, turning a blind eye to the events of today. Once I was snugly wrapped in my duvet and my head had reached my velvety pillow, I lost all consciousness and drifted into a thankfully peaceful sleep.

It was about an hour later by the unusually hushed tones emanating from the living room that I woke. They were persistent and eager and unmistakably belonging to Dimitri and Lissa. I had the urge to removed myself from bed and press my ear up to the door, like a child eavesdropping on their parents and not wanting to get caught. However I knew that if I did that, one of them would probably hear me, so it was safer to just stay still and listen to as much as I could.

'Dimitri, you know there is no point talking in a hushed voice, if she wants to hear she can just leak into my head.' Lissa pointed out, still keeping her voice low, no doubt out of respect for Dimitri's wishes.

'She's asleep.' Dimitri stated.

'Yes, but she's been known to pop into my head while she sleeps.' Lissa reasoned, I expected with a sympathetic expression presented for Dimitri. 'Usually at inconvenient moments.' She muttered under her breath, but loud enough for both Dimitri and I to hear.

'Yes, but as you just pointed out, it's usually at times when you are' He cleared his throat uncomfortably. 'In the middle of... uh... when you are highly emotional.' He stuttered, changing what he was about to say at the last minute.

I could imagine Dimitri replacing his expression covered face for his guardian mask, hiding his humility at having to approach this topic with Lissa. Equally I would bet everything that Lissa's face had now blushed into a soft tinted pink.

While enjoying the thought of my best friend and my husband broaching uncomfortable topics, I stopped. Why was Dimitri so determined not for me to hear this? Why did he want them to be quiet while discussing whatever they were talking about? I laughed silently to myself humourlessly. The answer was simple, they were being quiet because they were talking about me and didn't want me to catch on. No doubt they were talking about earlier.

'What did Rose say to you when she came home?' Lissa asked curiously, sharing Dimitri's concern for me.

'Nothing, as usual.' What was that supposed to mean? 'She just glanced at me, and then shot into the bathroom, locking the door.' He sighed.

'How long was she in there for?' Lissa asked carefully. Sensing that this was probably a sensitive area for Dimitri to talk openly about. He was always worried about the first sense of trouble either in my health or any other aspect of my life. Any problem and he was there, worried, but willing to fight for me.

'Not that long thinking back on it, but it was the fact she wouldn't talk to me, or when she did her voice was so fake I could tell she was spewing me a load of lies.' A load of emotions were running through Lissa at that moment. Sympathy, guilt, regret, worry, fear. 'She is so used to handling everything by herself, it's like she can't get used to fact that we're a team now.'

'You know what she's like, she hates to look weak, she'd rather die than let anyone know that something's wrong and she needs help.' Lissa said, laughing in annoyance at my stubborn attitude.

'Can you try talking to her? She seems to lock everyone out but you.' Dimitri asked, almost pleaded. I knew by the way he was speaking that he knew what had happened and why I had gone the way I did today.

'You really think she doesn't lock me out?' Lissa chuckled dryly. 'Back when we were students here, that is exactly what she did. I didn't find out about the two of you until you had left, and then afterwards. She was so unlike herself that it scared me, and trying to get her to talk about what was going on in her head was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.' Lissa paused, inhaling deeply. 'She wont talk to anyone until she is ready, and there is nothing you nor I can do about it Dimitri.'

'I swear she is the most frustrating woman I have ever met. Most guys complain because they can't get their wives or girlfriends to shut up, what I would give to be in their shoes.' He sighed.

'Yeah, but you wouldn't love her any other way because she simply wouldn't be her.' Lissa stated the obvious. 'Anyway, I've got to go, I left Christian with Eric and Rosie's coming over for the weekly family dinner.' She giggled at the next thought. 'Let's just say Christian can't handle the chaos of having kids as well as you seem to.' And with that Lissa left.

That was my cue. I jumped out of bed and stood in the doorway of our room, shooting a stormy glare in Dimitri's general direction. 'Have a nice mothers meeting about me Comrade?' I asked, hand on hip, foot tapping, the stance of any pissed off mother. 'Here's a tip for you, next time you want to go behind my back and talk about me to my best friend, you should probably check that I am in fact asleep.'

Dimitri was sat with his back to me, elbows on knees, chin propped up with his hands. 'How much did you hear?'

'All of it.' I stated, striding over to him so I was stood in front of him, leaving him no choice but to look at me.

He met my eye with no trace of guilt or remorse, just the usual plain concern. 'And what did you mean by saying that I said 'nothing as usual'?' I demanded, my anger increasing by the second as I recalled their secret meeting.

'You never talk to me.' He said in a calm voice. Rising from the sitting position and looking down on me to regain control.

'All I ever do is talk to you.' I folded my arms and shifted my eyes to the floor, boring a whole in the ground below us. 'Maybe I just don't have anything else to say.'

Dimitri tilted my chin up to look at him, his solid brown eyes caving into mine, craving answers from me. 'Why won't you look me in the eye?'

I stared at him, making sure I held his stare. 'What does it look like I'm doing now?'

He smirked inwardly, his expression making him seem like he had a bad taste in his mouth. 'Tell me now that what happened today was nothing. That I shouldn't be worried because you are completely fine.'

I swallowed nervously and had to avert my gaze. It was bad enough lying to him earlier, but I couldn't look him in the eye and do that. It seemed too cold and disrespectful.

'You can't do it.' he observed calmly, but I could sense by the tension in his body that what I had just confirmed with my silence, unnerved him. 'Talk to me Roza. Please?' He gently traced his fingers across my cheek bone and lowered his head so he could place a delicate chaste kiss on my lips, soft as butterfly wings. 'Don't shut me out all the time. I'm not going to judge you. Remember whatever you go through, I go through, we're in this together, we are in everything, together.'

I shook my head, he wasn't getting the point. 'There is no point in me confiding in you because I don't even know what it is I should confide in you about. There is no point in worrying you over what could be nothing.' I reasoned. Yeah, that was me trying to justify my reasoning to myself more than my caring husband who wanted nothing but to ensure that I was safe.

'You wouldn't have acted the way you did this morning if you didn't know what was going on Rose. Why are you acting so scared?'

In his frustration he hadn't realised what he had said, but as soon as he did, he knew what a big mistake he had made. I wasn't scared of anything as trivial as spirits effects. Sure they freaked me out a little, but it was nothing I couldn't deal with.

'I'm not scared.' I stated.

He had two choices, he could back down and stay on my good side, or he could stand by his statement and probably lead us into a full blown argument.

He nodded his head and smiled tenderly at me, seeming subdued. Backing down, wise move. 'We're married now right? Have been for a while. You need to learn to let me in and talk to me about absolutely everything.'

'What like you do with me?' I retorted, knowing full well that Dimitri doesn't share every aspect of his own life with me.

'This isn't about me Rose, this is about you, and this is about what is happening to you.'

I scrubbed my eyes tiredly, feeling all the relaxation I had received from my nap disappear. 'You know what? I'm so tired; I don't want to get into a fight, especially not with Libby in the next room. Even though she won't remember it, she doesn't need parents who do that in her presence.' Dimitri nodded in agreement. 'Can you just do me a favour, just for now?'

'Of course, anything.' He vowed.

'Just drop it. Don't ask me anymore questions that I don't want to answer, don't accuse me of anything or act like you understand. I just want a night of normality, with you and our daughter. So please, just drop it, even if you only leave the subject alone for tonight.' I pleaded, feeling very much the fragile little girl, instead of the ready for anything feisty Rosemarie Belikov.

'Fine, we won't talk about it tonight, but I'm warning you, this isn't over.' He said, wrapping his arms around me tightly, as if he though that without his support I might crumble. I revelled in the fact he seemed to know when I needed his warm embrace.

'I know I'm difficult and hard to figure out, but you know I love you right?' I mumbled into his chest, needing now more that ever for him to know that I did love him unconditionally and that would never change.

He chuckled lightly into my hair and kissed the crown of my head. 'Yes Roza, I do know that.' He sighed sweetly and lowered his voice even further. 'And I love you, more than you will ever know.'

**Well, there it is, chapter four. Thanks for reading and please review. x**


End file.
